I want a new job. Simple as that. And not just on Wednesdays. Every day. Let me start out by saying that I do actually like my current job. Honestly, I do. I just don’t love my job. And, since I’m studying employment law right now, I know better than to tell the vast reaches of the Internet anything about what I really do for a living or the people I work with that may or may not be the inspiration for this piece.
In a perfect world I’d like to do something that was low stress. Something that yields beautiful things and happy people. I’d love to be a florist. Surround myself all day with pretty flowers that smell nice. Flowers don’t have emergencies. Flowers don’t give me heartburn. Flowers don’t boss you around. Flowers make people happy and show that someone else cares. They’re used for so many positive things. They smell wonderful and when arranged properly, make a statement. I could do that. I would be awesome at that.
I would also be awesome at being a dessert tester. I love dessert. Cupcakes, pie, tarts, cake, truffles, chocolates, ice cream, coffee cake, all of it. In a perfect world I could create these little tasty morsels of love and open up some super-cute little bakery that would be just fabulous. In this world, I’m a terrible baker. So I buy fabulous desserts, and if I really need something homemade for a dinner thing, I ask my husband or my sister-in-law, since both of them make fantastic desserts. My sister-in-law makes cheesecake that is to die for. If I’m ever on death row, my last meal will be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Liz’s Oreo cheesecake. Not a slice, the whole thing. It’s that good.
Another perfect job? Movie critic. I’m an expert movie watcher. I watch a lot of movies. And not just new stuff either. I grew up going to the movies with my parents or my dad and brother almost every weekend for many, many years. Some of my favorite memories with my dad revolve around going to the movies and him smuggling food into the theater in his jacket. Like the other people in the theater aren’t wondering where a liver sausage sandwich came from? Or when we still lived in our first house sometimes on the drive home he’d make a detour to the movie theater, park in front of the doors, run in and buy a bucket of popcorn because movie theater popcorn just “tastes better” than anything you can make at home.
Anyway, I would be an awesome movie critic. I have a wide variety of tastes that appeal to a wide variety of audiences. I love Steven Seagal for his corny movies. His early work was awesome...not so much anymore. I love Meryl Streep. I have seen “The Bridges of Madison County” at least 431 times. I. LOVE. THAT. MOVIE. Suspense? Drama? Comedy? Period Pieces? Yup, I like those too...well, not all period pieces, but everything else. The only genre of movie that I don’t like is horror. I’m a chicken, and I don’t like paying to be scared. Haunted houses, scary movies, zombies, I hate all of that nonsense. Maybe movie reviewing wouldn’t be for me...I doubt I’d ever be able to get over that horror movie genre...
I’d also love to write children’s books. I’ve had dreams before featuring my naughty cats where they’re doing weird human like things. I think I could make a whole successful children’s book series: “The Adventures of Mavis & Wanda.” If I could draw, it would be even better. The cats give me good ideas...and I’m an expert book reader, how hard could it be to write some funny ones about the cats? Little kids would love them!
Until any of these dream jobs open up, or I run into a giant influx of cash that will enable me to start such a fun new career, I’m forced to stick with what I’ve got. In this economy, it’s not so bad to have a job that you like, but it sure would be great to have one that I love. Life is just too short to spend it doing things that suck.